I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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