i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
