I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
