a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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