I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
