I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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