We won't sleep together?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
