I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
