How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
