Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
