a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can't talk, ducks in the car
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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