Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
