Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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