If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
