Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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