Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
