What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
