It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
