I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
