umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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