I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
