i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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