This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
