By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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