what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
