theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
