I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
