I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
