maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
