Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
