But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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