Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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