i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
