absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
People in love make me want to vomit
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
