She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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