I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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