please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
