Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
whose ass print is on the piano?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
