I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
