i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
