Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
