Sry I called you an 8
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
