I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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