Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
