very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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