Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
