i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
