i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
