Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So here I am, sexting at work.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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