Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
